March 7th 2018

Happy 10 months with the Angels Willow <3

I've been feeling lately like Willow was taken from me, like her time here should have been longer. Like I was somehow shorted or slighted. But I came across a scripture today that read "Will a man rob God?" (taken out of context from 3 Nephi 24:8) and it really struck a chord with me. Is it possible to rob the Almighty? Is anything ever truly ours to begin with? 

Nothing is ours, it is all a gift from God that we need to be grateful for, but realize we are not entitled to - A family, loving parents, siblings, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends... They are all incredible blessings to have in our lives, but we are not entitled to have them, we haven't done anything to "deserve" them. But because God is SO good, and loves us SO much, He blesses many of His children with them. So we think because Lucy Lou has these people in her life, we should too. It's the "normal" to have them. 

The problem is that when we are "given" these parents, siblings, children, etc. we have an expectation to "keep" them... We say they are ours, "my" parents, "my" brother, "my" sister, "my" child. But all men, women, and children are first and foremost a child of God. The fate of everyone in the world is in His hands, not ours. We cannot claim ownership to something that was never truly ours in the first place. The gift is not the person, the gift is the time we get to have with them. Time. Time is ours to have. Not them. We have time, and the agency to spend the time we're given with each person however we choose. It is a blessing to have parents live to an elderly age. It's a blessing to have your siblings here to grow up with. It's a blessing to have children grow up and out-live you. But we are not entitled to any of that. We have a loving, generous God so these things may be the "norm" that many people have. But when they are not our "norm" we have no right to be angry at Him, or feel like God gypped us because we got a shorter amount of time. We cannot rob God, He gives life and He takes life. He gave us life, and will one day take our life. It is all part of a glorious plan where we get to live for ETERNITY with our family!! My heart rejoices just typing that. The plan... It requires faith, hope, and trust to find peace in. But once you do the burden of "I should have gotten more time" will be lifted. Because you will get more time. A never ending amount. 

And that is what gets me through the day.

10 months closer Willow.

Mama and dada love and miss you SO very much. But we are grateful for the time we had with you, and look forward to Eternity