November 7th 2017

Exactly Six months ago today.. the greatest blessing was born into Heaven as our greatest heartache was born on earth. 

When your future is suddenly shattered into a million little pieces it seems like the world should just stop spinning, like lives should stand still and no one should exhale until they hear your heart start beating again... but it doesn’t happen that way. No one skips a beat, people go to work, there’s School the next day, you have due dates for crap that used to matter so much. Too much. 

Let me tell you something, those things DO. NOT. MATTER. Unless they’re breathing, Living, and loving beings, they are second place. We need to learn to treat them that way. Nothing should ever,
and i mean EVER be more important than your family and your faith. Take a step back right now and evaluate your priorities... if LIVING BEINGS are not at the top of that list, you are doing life wrong. #sorryexceptimnotevenalittlebitsorry 

God, then family, and THEN everything else.

Don’t let your job take you away from being present for your children, don’t let your emotionally taxing clients/students/or even children take you away from being emotionally available for your spouse, don’t let that mom group drama put you in a sour mood for family dinner, or let your kids soccer practice take away from family night. 

1. Why are we here? - to get a body, family, and be tested

2. Where did we come from? - Heaven where we all resided as spiritual beings born from our Heavenly Mother and Father

3. Where are we going? - Hopefully to the Celestial Kingdom to live for eternity in the presence of Christ and God the Father and our eternal families (which I’m 100% VERY ready for... patience is HARD and i want my Willow more than life itself).

So what the heck are we doing Living life so it looks Pinterest perfect on the outside but is falling apart behind closed doors? Are we trying to BE happy, or LOOK happy? Cause those are completely different things. 

Get it together. I can’t say i have it together. But I’m trying real hard. 

I have days where I hurt so bad I feel like my chest might literally cave in from the weight of it.. and Iknow in my HEAD that I’ll see her again, I’ll hold her and raise her and never have to let her go again.. but my HEART has its own ideas and all it knows is how empty my arms feel, how there is a Willow shaped hole in my soul that will never be mended on this earth. It doesn’t always listen to the facts, hearts are stubborn like that sometimes. 

But the soothing balm to my aching heart are first Faith in my Savior Jesus Christ and the plan of Salvation. And second, my family. Primarily my husband who is such a special soul I can’t even put words down that would do him justice... he is tender when I cry, yet tough when I need someone to tell me to count my blessings instead of dwelling on pain. He’s selfless and speaks my love languages even when he has a huge test coming up and needs to study. He puts his family first, always, no matter what. I know I’m his number one, and that alone speaks volumes. I could write a novel on that man... but I’ll spare you lol. I just get weepy thinking about all he has done that has kept me not always standing, but at least kneeling. Because kneeling in prayer is what will bring ultimate peace and happiness. 

Six months.. it’s passed slowly, painfully, yet has brought so much growth and understanding that would otherwise be untapped. So gratitude is there, begrudgingly at times, but it’s there. 

Mom and dad love you Willow. Hug Jesus for us, and happy 6 months sweetheart. We sure miss you, Xoxo