June 10th 2017

Celebrating Willow <3

Something I wrote and had Jon read for me at Willow's Memorial because Lord knows I wouldn't have been able to get through it... 

Thanks for being the strong one babe <3 Jon Williams

"I have had 4 weeks, 5 days, 11 hours, and 20 minutes to try and come up with the words to say today.... but everything I come up with just feels so inadequate for the way I feel. No parent should ever have to plan a memorial for their child.. so I guess what I want to say is you've changed me Willow. You've changed me and your dad and there will never be any going back to the people we once were. But that change is for the better. We have learned countless lessons since meeting you and I'm sure we'll learn countless more as we continue going through life with you watching from above us instead of beside us. 

But what sticks out the most to me right now is this... Having a rock solid testimony of our Savior and the Plan of Salvation is crucial to survive the challenges of this life. I'm not gonna lie, when I first found out your heart stopped beating, I wished mine had stopped instead. But because of your incredible daddy I was able to focus on our faith and know in my heart that Heavenly Father had planned this all along and it was exactly what needed to happen. 

Your dad and I both have a new found reverence for precious little ones and how tender their sweet lives truly are. I no longer get annoyed at the sound of a crying baby, I just hope the mama knows how lucky she is to hear her baby cry. I would have given ANYTHING, I would have given my life, just to hear you cry baby girl. 

Holding you in my arms was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and watching your dad hold you in his arms was a close second. We love you more than words can express and can't wait to hold you when we see you again. And that time, I'll never let you go. I have learned that never letting people go is important. Our entire purpose is to have eternal families and make it to the celestial kingdom to live with them forever. I can think of nothing more motivating for a parent to live a righteous life, than to do so to spend eternity with their precious child. You have already made it there, and we will try our hardest every day so we can be worthy to join you there someday."