Willow Writings

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October 7th 2017

Happy 5 Months Willow

💜

We freaking miss you

Day 7 of each month

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Birth Story

Willow’s Birth Story I want more than anything in the world to tell you this story has a happy ending… But I’m going to warn you from the start that it does not. It doesn’t end the same way most birth stories do, with a picture of mom snuggling baby on her chest with tears of joy in her eyes and dad happily wrapping his arms around them, his perfect little family. It does end with tears, but not tears of joy… I have recently read too many birth stories and watched too many magical videos of how beautiful it was and how everything went as planned, or at least close enough. I know why moms write them, it’s supposed to be one of the happiest, most surreal, days of their lives. But mine was a little different. A LOT different. It all started on Friday, May 5 th 2017. I had Braxton hicks my entire pregnancy, since 18 weeks, so contractions were nothing new. But these ones were more intense, starting to hurt a little, not just a tighten...

December 7th 2017 My sweet sisters in law Jessica Craig and Jaimee Williams Tuft sent me this a couple days back and I’ve looked at it everyday since and get a lump in my throat an my eyes start to sting every time. But they’re not tears of sadness, nor are they tears of joy... maybe something in the middle? I’m touched by the way they thought of us and our sweet Angel. Thinking she’ll be forgotten amongst the hustle and bustle of everyday life and especially during the holidays is like a dagg er to my heart. But when people acknowledge she was here, she was with us for a moment on earth and will be with us for eternity in heaven it brings me a happiness I can’t even put into words.. this whole grieving thing is really freaking weird and confusing, I have so many emotions that I’m not sure even have a name. But there is one emotion I have right know that I can name and that’s Gratitude. I’m grateful for an amazing family who loves us and our sweet baby girl. I’...

December 24th 2017 This isn’t at all the Christmas we had planned for. I have a onesie that says “Baby’s first Christmas” and I was so looking forward to dressing you up and having Santa (aka Papa Steve Johnson ) hold you while we take the obligatory baby’s first Christmas with Santa photo. You’d probably scream like most babies because papa doesn’t look like himself in that velvet Santa suit with those loud jingle bells around his belly. I remember all the years he’s played Santa for us kids an d wanted so badly for him to bring the Magic of Christmas too you as well. I had big plans for you sweetheart, lots of photos while we picked out our Christmas tree, then even more of you in the tangled twinkle lights while we decorated it and listened to our favorite Carols of the season. I wanted to send out Christmas cards with you being the center of attention (as I’m sure you’d approve of ;) . I can’t bare to send out cards this year.. it breaks my heart that you won’t be on ...

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